Partners of Sex Addicts: Feeding My Spirit

Some of us have been betrayed by pornography or prostitutes, fantasies with which we can't compete. For some of us, the other woman takes on many faces - one-night stands, co-workers, our best friends, or faceless names on the internet.

All forms of sexual betrayal reflect unhealthy emotions in our partner. And because we are touched by it daily, we, too, become emotionally unhealthy and spiritually bankrupt. Our illness shows itself in many ways also. We obsess, we rage, we stalk, we withdraw, we bury ourselves in denial or work. The one unavoidable constant is our pain.

If you need a companion piece for the healing side of this story, read Emotional Starvation and Are You Stuck in a Victim Stance?.

BUT, we can choose what to do while we're in pain.

We can try to ignore it, to bury it so deeply inside that, for the moment, we can't feel it. Others of us may focus on our pain, magnify it, hanging on to our victimhood.

Or we can choose to focus on the behaviors that will free us from our pain, behaviors that will bring us relief, healing, and recovery. We can choose counseling or prayer. We can focus on forgiveness. We can find the support of healthy people who understand our pain because they've been where we are.

What we feed will grow; let us feed our recovery.

Today I will respond to the unhealthy circumstances in my life with healthy behaviors. I will feed my spirit. I will begin the process of healing.

Alice May