Coach Tryan Stutes

I’m Tryan Stutes, as a Certified Sex Addiction Recovery coach specializing in compulsive sexual behaviors, betrayal trauma, emotional integrity, and rebuilding trust in relationships, my work focuses on helping men discover and understand the underlying beliefs, emotional wounds, and unhealthy coping patterns that have contributed to their destructive behaviors. Many of the men I work with have spent years hiding behind shame, pride, secrecy, and false core beliefs without fully understanding how those patterns developed or the damage they have caused themselves and the people closest to them.

I believe recovery involves much more than stopping unwanted behaviors. It requires developing physical and emotional awareness, taking personal responsibility and ownership of thier behaviors, practicing rigorous honesty within themselves, and learning how to respond to others with genuine empathy. I help men recognize the recurring patterns that have kept them disconnected from themselves and their relationships while giving them the resources, support, and accountability to make meaningful, lasting changes.

I also work with couples navigating the aftermath of betrayal, helping them establish emotional safety, develop empathy, and begin rebuilding trust. I am professionally trained, certified and supervised by Carol Juergensen Sheets in her Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM) and trained in the Help Her/Them Heal intensive groups. This work emphasizes helping the betraying partner move beyond simply understanding the pain they have caused to demonstrating empathy through consistent actions, while recognizing and respecting the betrayed partner's individual healing process.

My passion for this work comes from both professional training and lived experience. Through my own recovery journey, I understand the challenges of confronting shame, pride and recognizing false core beliefs, and learning to live with greater honesty and emotional integrity. Those experiences have shaped how I approach coaching, allowing me to offer understanding and compassion without compromising accountability.

My professional background includes certifications and specialized training in addictions counseling, sex addiction recovery coaching, life coaching, Christian sex addiction specialist, men's emotional integrity, and couples empathy and trust recovery. I facilitate men's recovery and processing groups, Help Her Heal empathy workshops, and Intergrated Men of Integrity groups (NMMNG). I also support men preparing for formal therapeutic disclosure and collaborate with therapists and other recovery professionals to provide coordinated, partner-sensitive care.

At the core of my work is the belief that men are capable of meaningful change when they are willing to confront their behaviors, understand the wounds and beliefs driving them, and take full responsibility for their actions and how they show up in their relationships. My goal is to help men move beyond shame and secrecy, develop a healthier relationship with themselves, and become integrated men of integrity who are capable of honesty, accountability, develop emotional maturity, and empathy.

I consider it a privilege to walk alongside men and couples as they navigate the difficult work of recovery, healing, and rebuilding trust.

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One of the first things I help men recognize is that their behaviors often serve a purpose, even when those behaviors are destructive. For some, it's a way to escape uncomfortable emotions. For others, it's about feeling wanted, important, accepted, or in control. Many have spent so much of their lives trying to meet those needs through unhealthy means that they've never learned how to recognize or express what they're actually feeling. We spend time looking at where those patterns developed, how they continue to show up in everyday life, and what happens when a man feels rejected, criticized, inadequate, or emotionally disconnected. I also pay close attention to how men respond when they're uncomfortable. Do they shut down? Become defensive? Tell people what they want to hear? Avoid conflict? Look for someone else to make them feel better? These responses can tell us a lot about what a man believes about himself and what he's learned to do to feel safe. My role is to help him recognize those patterns as they're happening and begin making different choices. That includes learning to identify what he's feeling, communicate more directly, establish boundaries, and tolerate discomfort without returning to the behaviors he's trying to leave behind. For men whose behaviors have resulted in betrayal, this work also includes learning how to remain emotionally present when their partner is hurting or asking difficult questions. I want the men I work with to develop the awareness and skills to handle situations differently, not just during a coaching session, but in their everyday lives.