Partners of Sex Addicts: Dealing with betrayal trauma triggers

Being triggered by betrayal flips the trauma switch “on.”

As a wife or partner of a sex addict or intimacy anorexic, you can expect to spend a significant chunk of your recovery time on the emotional rollercoaster. Doubt and fear are only a few of the feelings you will be visiting. You will probably become familiar with shock, anger, despair, shame, powerlessness, grief and every other emotion in between. Like the chorus of one of those ‘somebody done somebody wrong’ songs, the feelings will repeat time and again.

Trauma triggers and the emotional rollercoaster are particularly troublesome in the first few weeks and months following discovery of your mate’s sex or porn addiction, after learning about additional betrayals, or discovery of intimacy anorexia.

Your sense of emotional safety is likely to be absent or shakey at best. Recognize that you are vulnerable, that your stress cup is already overflowing and it won’t take much to put you into a mini emotional meltdown.

See Understanding Betrayal Trauma: Trauma Triggers for Partners of Sex Addicts for further discussion of betrayal trauma.