If the past year has been one filled with disbelief, pain, sorrow, fear, or pockets of white hot anger, you may be looking forward to putting it behind you and starting fresh in the new year. You are feeling the surge of energy and motivation for making 2013 the year you finally lose those 20 lbs, get that promotion, or knock off all the items on your bucket list.
However, if you are the partner of a sex addict, your resolutions look quite different because you don’t have the luxury of the optimism that goes with those rosy colored glasses. You’ve been blindsided too many times when you tried to put them on. Starting today, you need to resolve yourself to a different outlook:
Starting today I won’t cry wasted tears.
Starting today I won’t believe any more lies.
Starting today I’ll guard my heart.
Starting today I stop living in the fog that convinces me my fears can’t be real.
Starting today I won’t tell myself ‘It’s no big deal. All men do it.’
Starting today I’ll stop comparing myself to the legions of other women who catch his eye.
Starting today I’ll listen to my gut instead of my heart.
Starting today I’ll stop competing with the nameless fantasy images on his computer screen.
Starting today I’ll believe his behavior, not his words.
Starting today I’ll stop taking on more and more responsibility – for the kids, the house, our lives – until I’m too exhausted to deal with the reality of what he has become.
Starting today I’ll stop pretending I’m not alone just because I’m married.
Starting today I won’t believe love is enough, I am enough, our family is enough to overcome his addiction.
Starting today I’ll begin the journey of my own healing, no matter how painful the cost, because I know I am worth it.
Starting today I’ll connect with other women who can help me in my journey.
McKinney Counseling & Recovery offers partners of sex addicts support groups for those seeking hope, healing, and empowerment. Start a resolution to start today.
Dr. Janice Caudill is the founder and Clinical Director of McKinney Counseling & Recovery. MCR offers individual, couples, group therapy and multi-day intensives for partners of sex addicts and wounded hearts struggling with sex addiction, infidelity, love addiction or love avoidance, intimacy anorexia, or relational trauma in the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Richardson, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and surrounding areas.
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