Partners Of Sex Addicts: Its Only Porn

What do partners of porn addicts tell themselves?

I told myself it’s only porn.

I told myself it didn’t bother me.

I told myself all men do it. It’s no big deal.

I told myself it’s not really cheating.

I told myself I was overreacting. It shouldn’t matter because at least he’s not with another woman.

I told myself I should believe when he said he had it under control.

I told myself I don’t really notice all the other lies.

I told myself that little voice inside that kept whispering, “something is wrong” was mistaken.

I told myself I didn’t feel pressured to compete with those images on the screen.

I told myself that trance in his eyes wasn’t about porn.

I told myself that when we’re having sex that he’s really with me.

I told myself I must not be satisfying him if he still needed that.

I told myself I wasn’t enough – not woman enough, not beautiful enough, not sexy enough.

I told myself I didn’t feel alone in this marriage.

I told myself it wasn’t chipping away at my spirit.

I told myself that resentment was not setting in.

I told myself I wasn’t becoming a porn cop.

I told myself my respect for him wasn’t starting to fade.

I told myself the porn wasn’t leading him down a dangerous path.

I told myself it wasn’t affecting our kids.

I told myself he wasn’t becoming a shell of the man I married.

I told myself I wasn’t slowly dying inside.

If this sounds familiar, compare it with Starved for Love: Intimacy Deprivation in Sex and Porn Addiction and The Rise of Recovery Disclosure Guides.

Have you told yourself, “It’s only porn”?