What do partners of porn addicts tell themselves?
I told myself it’s only porn.
I told myself it didn’t bother me.
I told myself all men do it. It’s no big deal.
I told myself it’s not really cheating.
I told myself I was overreacting. It shouldn’t matter because at least he’s not with another woman.
I told myself I should believe when he said he had it under control.
I told myself I don’t really notice all the other lies.
I told myself that little voice inside that kept whispering, “something is wrong” was mistaken.
I told myself I didn’t feel pressured to compete with those images on the screen.
I told myself that trance in his eyes wasn’t about porn.
I told myself that when we’re having sex that he’s really with me.
I told myself I must not be satisfying him if he still needed that.
I told myself I wasn’t enough – not woman enough, not beautiful enough, not sexy enough.
I told myself I didn’t feel alone in this marriage.
I told myself it wasn’t chipping away at my spirit.
I told myself that resentment was not setting in.
I told myself I wasn’t becoming a porn cop.
I told myself my respect for him wasn’t starting to fade.
I told myself the porn wasn’t leading him down a dangerous path.
I told myself it wasn’t affecting our kids.
I told myself he wasn’t becoming a shell of the man I married.
I told myself I wasn’t slowly dying inside.