Beware of his remorse.
Remorse is a common reaction for people who have done something they know hurts people around them—especially if they’ve been caught. An alcoholic in recovery will tell you that one of the most common feelings the day after a drunken spree is remorse. He will also tell you that he was 100 percent sincere when he vowed it would never happen again.
But it usually did.
Until a person is wholeheartedly ready to change, remorse may be short-lived. It may last until the furor dies down or the memory fades or the next opportunity presents itself.
And that may be true even if the remorse is absolutely sincere.
So beware of morning-after remorse. Don’t let it lift you up with sky-high hopes. Keep your head and remember that what counts is genuine change over the long haul.
Today I will be less susceptible to heartfelt words whose primary purpose and most powerful effect may be simply to melt my heart and to save his backside.
Dr. Janice Caudill is the founder and Clinical Director of McKinney Counseling & Recovery. MCR offers individual, couples, group therapy and multi-day intensives for partners of sex addicts and wounded hearts struggling with sex addiction, infidelity, love addiction or love avoidance, intimacy anorexia, or relational trauma in the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Richardson, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and surrounding areas.
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